You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
