Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
