I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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