Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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