worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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