This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize