The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
