Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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