i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
