I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
