Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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