I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
