It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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