Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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