I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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