If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize