I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize