Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize