was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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