I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
