How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
