whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
this will be a night to untag.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
