Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
