haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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