the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
