i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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