And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize