if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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