Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
please come you make the beer taste better
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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