I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
