he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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