he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
