The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
