the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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