Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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