i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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