went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You are the jesus of drinking
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
