community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
