Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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