the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
