Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
