tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
it hurts more in the daytime
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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