I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
