i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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