This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
