True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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