Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
