he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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