Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
