lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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