Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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