yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize