bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
