Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
that is very illegal...i love you.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
