Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize