Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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