I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
