i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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