Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
