Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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