do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
