i think my tv is drunk
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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