Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them

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(714): View more from California

Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?

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(707): View more from California

He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.

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(773): View more from Illinois

It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car

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(971): View more from Oregon

Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.

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(513): View more from Ohio

How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.

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