physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
