that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize