I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
