I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
