I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
