turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
