Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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