You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
