I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
we're so committed to being not committed
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