Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
