there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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