: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
