it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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