on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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