She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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