i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Actions speak louder than pants.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
